Pidyon haben

The pidyon haben, “redemption of the son,” is the ceremony in which a father redeems his oldest son, the firstborn of his mother, from a kohen. It rests on the Torah: “Consecrate to Me every male first-born, the first issue of every womb among the Israelites” (Exodus 13:2), and the redemption is made “from the age of one month up” (Numbers 18:16). It is the father’s obligation: the Shulchan Arukh (Yoreh De’ah 305:2) states that the mother is not required to redeem her son. It applies only to certain firstborn sons, which makes it rare, and very often something to explain to your guests.

1Who is included, and who is not

Everything depends on the mother, not the father. The Shulchan Arukh (Yoreh De’ah 305:17) writes that redemption depends solely on being the first issue of the mother’s womb: a child who is his father’s firstborn but not his mother’s is not redeemed.

• If the father is a kohen or a Levite, the son is not redeemed; and even if the mother is the daughter of a kohen or a Levite and is married to an Israelite, the son is exempt, since it depends on the mother (Yoreh De’ah 305:18).
• A child born by Caesarean section (“yotzei dofen”) is not redeemed, and neither is the child born after him (Yoreh De’ah 305:24).
• If the baby dies before thirty days have passed, the father does not have to redeem him (Yoreh De’ah 305:12).
• Other situations, notably an earlier miscarriage, are treated by the Shulchan Arukh with nuances (Yoreh De’ah 305:22–23): they must be put to a rabbi.

2The 31st day, but never on Shabbat

The child is not ready for redemption until thirty days have passed; after that, he is redeemed without delay (Yoreh De’ah 305:11). If the 31st day falls on Shabbat, redemption is not done on Shabbat: one waits until Sunday (same source). For a Yom Tov, ask your rabbi how to set the date. As for Chol HaMoed, the Rema reports differing opinions: according to your community’s custom, the ceremony may be held or postponed.

3The ceremony, as the Rema reports it

According to the Shulchan Arukh and the Rema (Yoreh De’ah 305:10), the child is presented to the kohen and the kohen is told that he is a firstborn. The kohen then asks the father which he prefers: his firstborn son, or the sum he must give to redeem him. The father answers that he prefers his son and hands over the sum, whose value is set by the Torah and which your rabbi will tell you. The father then says the blessings: the one on redeeming the son, then the blessing of gratitude, before handing over the payment. The father cannot redeem through an agent (same source). The Rema adds that a meal is also held, and that the kohen blesses the wine at the end of the redemption. If a father did not redeem his son, the son must redeem himself when he grows up (Yoreh De’ah 305:15).

4Across communities

• The substance is shared by Sephardic, Ashkenazi, and Mizrahi families: the redemption from a kohen. What changes is the songs, the order of the celebration, the dress, and the meal, which follow the custom of each family and community.
• In many families the baby is presented on a tray, sometimes surrounded by jewelry: this is a widespread custom, but not an obligation.
• In secular or traditional Israeli families the ceremony is rare, and often held as a big family celebration: a short explanation for guests is welcome.

5What this means for an invitation

• Say what the ceremony is in one sentence (“redemption of the firstborn once thirty days have passed”), because many guests have never seen one.
• Give the date, and note that it may move if the 31st day falls on Shabbat or a holiday. Tov flags Shabbat and Yom Tov for the organizer.
• Never state an amount and never ask for a gift: the value of the redemption is settled between the father and the kohen.
• Tell the kohen early and mention the meal (seudah): most families invite relatives and friends to it.