Seudah

Seudah (סעודה) simply means "meal." In the texts, the word takes on a particular meaning when the meal accompanies a religious event: it is then called a seudat mitzvah, a "mitzvah meal." The meal of a brit milah, a pidyon haben, the completion of a Talmud tractate (siyum) or an engagement all qualify, as the Shulchan Arukh shows (Orach Chayim 551:10).

That status has two concrete consequences: the presence of the mitzvah at the celebration (the meal is not just dinner, it extends the ceremony) and a set of exceptions during periods of reduced joy, as we will see below.

1What the texts say

• The brit milah: the Shulchan Arukh (Yoreh Deah 265:12) records the custom of having a meal on the day of the brit. The Rema's gloss adds that a minyan is gathered, that this meal is a seudat mitzvah, and that he reports a stern saying about someone who does not eat at a brit meal: but only if the people present are worthy. He also mentions the Friday-night meal after the birth of a boy, which is likewise a seudat mitzvah.
• The pidyon haben, the siyum and the engagement: the Rema (Orach Chayim 551:10) lists them with the brit milah as meals where one eats meat and drinks wine even during the Nine Days, specifying that the gathering should be kept to those concerned.
• The seven wedding blessings: the Shulchan Arukh (Even HaEzer 62:4) requires ten adults to recite the blessings of the grooms, including when they are said after Birkat Hamazon.

2How communities differ

• The Rema's glosses reflect Ashkenazi custom (a minyan at a brit milah, the Friday-night meal); Sephardic and Mizrahi families have their own customs for these meals, depending on your community's custom.
• Bar and bat mitzvah: whether the bar mitzvah meal counts as a seudat mitzvah is the subject of varying customs. Some families give it that character with a siyum or words of Torah; others treat it as an ordinary festive meal. Ask your rabbi what your community follows.
• Secular Israelis: the festive meal is often first and foremost a family occasion, and its religious dimension depends on the family.

3What it means for an invitation

During the Three Weeks and the Nine Days, the Shulchan Arukh (551:2) rules out an engagement meal but allows an engagement without a meal, and the Rema (551:10) nevertheless lists the engagement meal among the seudot mitzvah at which meat is eaten. The two passages are read together: ask your rabbi what applies in your case. On Fridays, the Shulchan Arukh (249:2) forbids setting, out of respect for Shabbat, a festive meal that is not usually held on weekdays, even an engagement meal; the Rema makes an exception for meals whose date falls that day, such as a brit milah or a pidyon haben.

For guests, then, the seudah is not just a "cocktail": it extends the mitzvah, and attendance matters. State the time clearly, along with the nature of the meal (meat, dairy) and the place.