When Should You Send Wedding Invitations?
Save-the-date, the official invitation, reminders: a clear retro-planning calendar so nothing slips through the cracks.
By The Tov team
You've just set your wedding date and you're wondering when to tell your guests. Good news: there's a fairly universal retro-planning calendar. Bad news: it starts much earlier than most people think.
Below is the classic timeline, with the typical adjustments for a Jewish wedding — cousins in Israel, grandparents who need to book flights, Shabbat constraints.
8 months out: the save-the-date
A save-the-date isn't mandatory — but it becomes essential the moment you have guests who need to fly in or request time off. It's a short announcement (date + city + the couple's names) with no RSVP required. The goal: get your guests to block the date in their calendar.
3 months out: the official invitation
The full invitation goes out 3 months before the big day. It includes everything: the religious ceremony venue (synagogue, city hall), the reception venue, exact times, dress code, directions, and the RSVP form.
This is also the moment to include practical details: recommended nearby hotels, allergies to flag, transportation, parking, where to stay for guests coming from Israel. A good digital invitation (like Tov's) puts everything on one page — no attached PDF that gets lost in an inbox.
- Exact date + time of the chuppah
- Exact address (with a clickable Google Maps link)
- Dress code (smart casual? black tie? white requested?)
- RSVP requested by {date} (4 weeks before)
- Emergency contact (the best man/maid of honor, not you)
4 weeks out: the reminder
A month out, you send the reminder to guests who haven't confirmed yet. This is the moment that decides whether your caterer plans for 180 or 220 covers — so it's crucial. With a paper invitation, this is hell (phone calls, texts, one by one). With a digital invitation, the reminder is automatic.
2 weeks out: the confirmation package
Two weeks before the wedding, send a final message to confirmed guests: a reminder of the schedule, a dress-code link, a preliminary seating overview, and babysitting info if you’ve arranged any for kids. This is also the moment to share the run of show: morning aliyah on Shabbat if applicable, cocktail hour at X, dinner at Y.
The big day: last-minute adjustments
On the morning of the wedding, take one last headcount: how many guests confirmed? How many confirmed but aren't coming? A digital RSVP keeps an accurate live count, unlike a printed spreadsheet.
The calendar at a glance
- 8-10 months out: save-the-date (if guests are traveling from afar)
- 3 months out: official invitation + RSVP opens
- 4 weeks out: reminder to guests without a response
- 2 weeks out: reminder + practical info to confirmed guests
- 24h before: day-of message just in case
Follow this retro-planning calendar and you’ll arrive at your wedding with an accurate list, guests notified on time, and zero logistics stress. And if you want to automate all of it — sending, reminders, RSVP, seating chart — that’s exactly what Tov does, for free.
About — Written by the Tov.events team, who build the tools Jewish families — Sephardi, Ashkenazi, Mizrahi, secular — use for their simchas.